The Caretaker’s Dilemma

By Suzie Lee Tran, LAc

As an acupuncturist, I spend my days helping others find balance and healing in their bodies. I talk to my patients about the importance of self-care, stress management, and nourishing their bodies with good food, movement, and rest. But this past week, I found myself in a position where I had to take my own advice in ways I never imagined.

My 77-year-old mother fell down the stairs in her home, breaking multiple bones—her wrist, ribs, and clavicle. Surgery was necessary, and recovery is going to be long. As her daughter, my instinct was to drop everything and care for her, and I did. But I’m also a wife, a mother to a six-year-old, and a practitioner with a full schedule of patients who rely on me. Like so many caretakers, I found myself stretched thin, exhausted, and overwhelmed.

In these moments, self-care is often the first thing to go. We tell ourselves there’s no time to rest, no time to eat, no time to breathe. But here’s the truth: If we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t be able to take care of anyone else.

Redefining Self-Care

Self-care isn’t just about spa days and massages—though those can be wonderful. True self-care is about the small, daily choices that allow us to keep going without burning out.

1. Staying Hydrated.                                                           During my mother’s hospital stay, I found myself going hours without drinking anything at all. It wasn’t intentional—I was just so focused on her needs that I ignored my own.  When I did remember, I reached for water, but I wasn’t drinking nearly enough. Hydration is foundational. It supports digestion, brain function, and energy levels—things every caretaker desperately needs. I had to make a conscious effort to carry a water bottle and take sips throughout the day, even when I wasn’t thinking about it.

Staying hydrated in crucial for maintaining the flow of Qi and body fluids, nourishing Yin and supporting the Kidneys which regulates water balance and vitality. Adequate hydration prevents dryness and stagnation and enhances digestion via the Spleen and ensures smooth Qi circulation and detoxification. 

2. Eating Whole, Unprocessed Foods
Caretakers often skip meals or grab whatever is convenient. But the body needs real nourishment, not just fuel. I made a conscious effort to eat real meals—vegetables, protein, healthy fats—rather than surviving on snacks and sugar. Eating well gave me the stamina to show up for my mom, my family, and my patients without running on fumes.

Eating whole foods nourishes Qi, Blood and Essence, supports the Spleen and Stomach for digestion and aligns with seasonal and thermal balance; while processed foods introduce toxins, dampness and imbalances that weaken the body’s energy systems. 

3. Spending Time Outside
Hospitals and sickrooms are draining. Between fluorescent lights and the constant emotional weight, it’s easy to feel trapped. I made it a priority to step outside, even for just a few minutes, to breathe fresh air and feel the sun on my skin. Nature resets the nervous system in a way that nothing else can. 

Spending time outside in sunshine and fresh air strengthens Yang energy, strengthens Qi and supports the Lungs while harmonizing the body with nature to enhance vitality, immunity and emotional wellbeing. 

4. Getting Adequate Sleep
When you’re caregiving, sleep often suffers. Late nights, early mornings, and middle-of-the-night wake-ups take their toll. I had to remind myself that even short naps or resting when possible made a difference. Prioritizing sleep, even when it felt impossible, helped me show up with more patience and clarity.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, good sleep is essential for balancing Yin and Yang, nourishing the Blood and calming the Shen (spirit), while aligning with natural rhythmns to support emotional and physical health. 

Caring for Yourself is Caring for Others

Caretaking is an act of love, but it’s also exhausting. We can’t pour from an empty cup. By staying hydrated, eating well, getting outside, and sleeping when we can, we build resilience. We don’t just survive the caregiving experience—we show up fully, with energy and presence for those who need us.

If you’re a caretaker, please remember: your well-being matters, too. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.